Chubby checkout

6:38pm Tuesday 23rd November 2004

I NEARLY got into trouble this weekend when a passing comment about someone's "excess" weight was overheard at a supermarket checkout.

It was totally accidental, just slipping out at the most impromptu of moments. But the piercing look gifted me by my other half was enough to fuel a retreat to the cigarette counter.

Upon reuniting with my girlfriend at the store entrance I apologised for the embarrassment my comments may have caused but being a bloke stopped short of admitting fault.

Instead I spent the walk back to the car trying to justify my choice words, much to the disbelief of the missus. In the end she callously branded me a socialist and told me to, "go away".

Not one wishing to dwell on Friday's indiscretion, I will get straight to the point. The woman in question was huge, and if her trolley contents were anything to go by, she is expecting more than three wise men for Christmas.

Coincidentally, the evening before a friend had been, quite rightly, criticising the price of fresh fruit and veg, which she said was partially responsible for the latest trend obesity.

She argued supermarket extortion was driving people to substitute healthy food for cheaper processed alternatives. The result being a decrease on shopping bills, and increase in weight.

Just a quick trip down the aisles of any major supermarket will support this opinion. Multi-packs of crisps, chocolate bars and sweets grab the promotional headlines.

Strategically placed, these "deals" manipulate the average shopper into thinking they're saving pounds when in fact they're buying far more than they bargained for.

But for every innocent food shopper duped by the supermarket giants, there are hordes only to happy to cash in on cheap fast food.

Which brings me nicely back to Friday's little incident. I have never seen so much rubbish piled into one trolley in all my years. There were all sorts of cartons and packets, so much so that the trolley resembled something out of a supermarket sweep.

Indeed the only victim in this sorry tale was the poor old gent who had to spend ten tireless minutes stuffing pizza boxes and jam doughnuts into flimsy plastic bags.

Yet what amazed me more than this gluttonous heist was the subtotal which flashed up at the end. Safe to say it was almost as big as the aforementioned customer.

My comment well I merely suggested fat people ate junk food because they're lazy fat-loving freaks, and it had nothing to do with the cost of veg.

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