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Agony Aunt letters:My son frightens me
12:42pm Monday 31st December 2012 in Freetime
KAYE Townsend is a qualified, BACP registered, person-centred counsellor with a private practice in Flackwell Heath, Bucks. She is currently writing a self-help book, write articles for various publications & work as a volunteer counsellor for a local charity.
Here she answers letters in her Bucks Free Press agony aunt column. To contact her, email email@example.com
My son is 19 years old & still living at home. He loses his temper so often I am beginning to feel frightened of him & avoid when I can. When he gets angry, he throws things across the room, usually aimed at me & I have been hit a few times by remote controls, mugs & his boots.
I hate the feeling of being scared in my own home of my son who used have such a close relationship with me. His father moved out of the house 2 months ago which was a relief to me but I think this is what sparked off the anger in my son. I just don’t know how to handle him.
Janice, 45, Penn.
My first thoughts are that your son needs anger management / therapy which of course is fine if he is willing to attend & realises he has a problem. I wonder how he would react to the suggestion? Anger often develops after parents separate with one of them being given the blame for breaking up the home. In small children it is easier to handle, at 19 you are dealing with an adult.
You say in your original letter that he has a good relationship with his father, is it possible for you to speak with him & explain the situation? Perhaps then his father could reassure him that you are not at fault & point out that any anger taken out on you is not acceptable. I would still recommend therapy but when he feels ready.
Good luck Janice,
Suggested contacts: Snowdrop Counselling www.snowdropcounselling.co.uk
Tel: 07518 227615 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org