Agony Aunt: Is it OK to only see him for sex? (From Bucks Free Press)

Agony Aunt: Is it OK to only see him for sex?

11:03am Friday 8th February 2013 in Freetime

KAYE Townsend is a qualified, BACP registered, person-centred counsellor with a private practice in Flackwell Heath, Bucks.

She is currently writing a self-help book, write articles for various publications & work as a volunteer counsellor for a local charity.

Here she answers letters in her Bucks Free Press agony aunt column.

To contact her, email kayebt@sky.com

 

Dear Kaye,

For 3 years now I have been meeting up monthly with a man who doesn’t want a relationship. We usually just spend the night together at his house & I go home in the morning.

He tells me he is working late most of the time & that there isn’t another woman. My question is should I stop doing this? Is it ok to just meet up for sex?

Katie, 31,

Chesham

Dear Katie,

There are no rules stating you must be in a relationship but I would hope you are practising “safe sex”.

If you are getting what you need emotionally & you are not knowingly hurting anyone, I see no problem with this kind of relationship as long as you are both happy. But I do feel the need to ask if you ever go out together & if not why?

However, I would have concerns if he is seeing other women in between, as it brings up trust issues, the possibility of STD’s & could damage your reputation.

If he is seeing other women then I would doubt his morals.

Why doesn’t he want a relationship? Does he just want to play around with whoever is available?

If you take a step back for a moment & think, what effort is he making to make you feel that this more than just a last minute call late at night when the other women are busy?

By writing to me I can see you are having some doubts so I would suggest you consider how much more there is to gain by being in a loving relationship with someone who wants to spend time with you other than in the bedroom!

Best wishes Katie,

Kaye.