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Agony Aunt: Is it OK to only see him for sex?
11:03am Friday 8th February 2013 in Freetime
KAYE Townsend is a qualified, BACP registered, person-centred counsellor with a private practice in Flackwell Heath, Bucks.
She is currently writing a self-help book, write articles for various publications & work as a volunteer counsellor for a local charity.
Here she answers letters in her Bucks Free Press agony aunt column.
To contact her, email email@example.com
For 3 years now I have been meeting up monthly with a man who doesn’t want a relationship. We usually just spend the night together at his house & I go home in the morning.
He tells me he is working late most of the time & that there isn’t another woman. My question is should I stop doing this? Is it ok to just meet up for sex?
There are no rules stating you must be in a relationship but I would hope you are practising “safe sex”.
If you are getting what you need emotionally & you are not knowingly hurting anyone, I see no problem with this kind of relationship as long as you are both happy. But I do feel the need to ask if you ever go out together & if not why?
However, I would have concerns if he is seeing other women in between, as it brings up trust issues, the possibility of STD’s & could damage your reputation.
If he is seeing other women then I would doubt his morals.
Why doesn’t he want a relationship? Does he just want to play around with whoever is available?
If you take a step back for a moment & think, what effort is he making to make you feel that this more than just a last minute call late at night when the other women are busy?
By writing to me I can see you are having some doubts so I would suggest you consider how much more there is to gain by being in a loving relationship with someone who wants to spend time with you other than in the bedroom!
Best wishes Katie,