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Agony Aunt letters: My daughter-in-law made a pass at me
1:20pm Saturday 29th September 2012 in Freetime
KAYE Townsend is a qualified, BACP registered, person-centred counsellor with a private practice in Flackwell Heath, Bucks. She is currently writing a self-help book, write articles for various
publications & work as a volunteer counsellor for a local charity.
Here she answers letters in her Bucks Free Press agony aunt column.
To contact her, email firstname.lastname@example.org
My son has been married for 2 years & we recently had a family BBQ & get together at my son’s house.
At 7pm I went up stairs to say goodnight to my grandson but he had already fallen asleep. So I quietly closed the door & as I turned to make my way back down stairs, my son’s wife was standing there saying she needed a quiet word with me. Then she went on to make suggestions that I would rather not repeat on here but I know without a doubt that she was making a pass. I haven’t told a soul but I need to talk to someone. I know I am acting uncomfortable around her & fear this will be spotted by the rest of the family soon. My wife already thinks that I just don’t like her. What should I do? Should I tell my wife why? Tell my Son? Say nothing? What would you suggest, as I feel I’m in an impossible situation?
Alan, 55, Booker.
I agree, this is a very awkward situation to be in, but I feel you are the one in a position to resolve it. Firstly, think how your daughter-in-law must be feeling. I don’t mean feel sympathy for her, I mean that without a doubt she is scared that her actions are about to destroy her world as she doesn’t know what you intend to do. I think you hold all the cards here. I would suggest talking to her & making it very clear that you don’t intend to upset you son or your family & how disappointed you are in her behaviour. Tell her you hope that this was a one off mistake that was perhaps aided by alcohol & you are concerned for your son’s happiness, therefore it will be best for everyone that this is never mentioned again. If you feel she looks relieved & sincerely sorry, then you have resolved the issue without anyone getting hurt.
Good luck Alan,