Agony Aunt letters: Stopped my Benefits & Lost my Friends (From Bucks Free Press)

Agony Aunt letters: Stopped my Benefits & Lost my Friends

11:00am Friday 4th January 2013 in Lifestyle

KAYE Townsend is a qualified, BACP registered, person-centred counsellor with a private practice in Flackwell Heath, Bucks. She is currently writing a self-help book, write articles for various publications & work as a volunteer counsellor for a local charity.

Here she answers letters in her Bucks Free Press agony aunt column.

To contact her, email kayebt@sky.com

Dear Kaye,

I have been slowly building up my own business & have now come off benefits which feels like something to be proud of. My problem is that my friends, who are still on benefits with small children, don’t seem to want to see me. It started off with them having nights out but not inviting me & recently my sister saw them in the supermarket & they were making fun of me, saying I probably shop in an up market supermarket as I’m too “posh” for them now.

Lisa, 31, Marlow.

Dear Lisa,

Firstly, real friends would be happy for you rather than making unkind remarks.

Secondly, congratulations on your business venture.

I think you may find these people are making themselves feel better about their own unhappy situations by finding fault with you. They are staying in their comfort zones while you have taken a risk & will I’m sure, benefit hugely from it.

They would be better off learning from your example rather than resenting the fact that you had been brave enough to try & support yourself.

Well done & good luck for the future Lisa,

Kaye.