KAYE Townsend is a qualified, BACP registered, person-centred counsellor with a private practice in Flackwell Heath, Bucks. She is currently writing a self-help book, write articles for various publications & work as a volunteer counsellor for a local charity.

Here she answers letters in her Bucks Free Press agony aunt column.

Dear Kaye, I have 2 daughters who have now both left home to live with their boyfriends. I have always worked part-time so I could take care of the home & my family but now, after years of putting them first, I feel “redundant”, useless & lonely. My husband doesn’t understand how I feel & just makes jokes about making one of their bedrooms into a study or a games room. I actually can’t bear the thought of changing the girl’s rooms.

Caroline, 49, Maidenhead.

Dear Caroline, Empty nest syndrome is a common feeling for many mothers everywhere. There is no hurry to change the bedrooms, just leave them for now.

But firstly, you should congratulate yourself on bringing up two well adjusted & capable young ladies that feel confident in starting new lives away from the security of home.

The good news is that you can now spend more time on your own interests. Think about any hobbies you enjoy but have never had the time to pursue. Look into volunteer groups, local meetings that may interest you or perhaps enrol on a college course.

This feeling does pass in time it’s just a matter of adjusting to having more time on your hands & letting your girls grow & develop into homemakers themselves. This time next year you’ll be wondering how you had managed to fit everything in!

Best wishes, Kaye.

Suggested groups & Meetings

Volunteer Centre of Windsor & Maidenhead – Information on becoming a volunteer

Website: www.wmva.org

Bucks County Council Volunteering Opportunities

Website: www.buckscc.gov.uk/bcc/leisure/volunteering