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Muriel Gray was right: "Don't be yourself, or they'll never employ you."
As I'll be in the throes of a new job just days after you read this, I thought it only appropriate to spend my last column reviewing The Grumpy Guide to... series after, as luck would have it, last Tuesday's Guide was on the subject of work. How fortunate and topical for me.
This excellent BBC2 programme always makes me chuckle and I'd imagine anyone who's ever worked (or at least turned up to work) which let's face it is most of us, would see the funny side of Tuesday's show.
The assorted celebrities giving their views on the workplace got it spot on - cv, emails, sickies , the office party, bosses - it's a veritable minefield for the average employee.
One thing I'm sure I will miss in my new job is email. Now we have it, I'm not sure how we ever managed without it - what a great invention.
As Arabella Weir pointed out email was designed to facilitate a faster way to send office gossip. And she's right. It's even quicker than the fella I always used to pull aside before saying: "Don't tell anyone this, but..." if I wanted to send out a memo to everyone, but just couldn't be bothered to type it.
As another Grumpy added: "Email constitutes work, you look like you're working even if you're emailing your friends."
Of course email hasn't worked out well for everyone. The office show-offs who want to tell everyone their business via talking to their friends on the office phone have lost out.
But in my book, the most awful thing about work is job interviews - they're so bad it almost puts you off going for another job.
But I reckon Muriel Gray's bit of advice was best where interviews are concerned. "Don't be yourself, because they'll never employ you."
Very true of course. Although, I suppose you should be careful who else you choose to be at your interview. I mean I wouldn't turn up as that girl out of The Apprentice (and if you're wondering which one, I mean any of them!).
Appraisals also rated pretty high as an annoyance at work.
"In the old days you just got sacked," said one, before another chipped in with a story of how he and his line manager both lost the will to live during an appraisal.
Oh the joys of work! Wouldn't it be so much easier if you could just turn up and actually do your job.
Anyway, thanks for reading, happy TV watching - I'm out of here, well after I've completed my exit questionnaire that is.
* By the way, a little tip for you, don't miss Neil Phillips' TV column, Phillips' TV, which starts next week.
2:01pm Tuesday 25th March 2008
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