BURGER burglars are abroad. I’m told that one valley household was getting a barbecue ready, waiting for the charcoal to be just right.

The lady of the house set her burgers aside on a table while she went indoors to bring out more contributions to the meal. Where were the burgers? Well, she’s not quite sure, but the wrapper she later found on the front garden clearly mentioned Longhurst. So, forensic indications are that a Red Kite had marked her garden on its list of rather good eating.

But this resident may still count herself lucky. Hundreds of years ago, Kites were considered wily knicker nickers. King Lear scolded his daughter Goneril ‘detested kite! thou liest’, then, in A Winter’s Tale, Shakespeare expanded ‘when the kite builds, look to your lesser linen’, as Kites were alleged to steal smalls from washing lines for nesting material.

CLARIFICATION of the scope of the new noodle bar’s services came from some investigations at WDC. It will be permissible to offer home delivery of food, but not collection by the customer.

Residents are apprehensive about the premises evolving into a conventional take-away, but WDC is clear that the current use permit does not allow that.

Incidentally, the business is now to be known as The Red Duck, and will offer Chinese food.

RESIDENTS’ website contact page brought an intriguing query from a valley dweller recently. The enquirer said “I have been informed Marlow Bottom residents are not able to have an allotment in Marlow or High Wycombe. Could you tell me where I, as a Marlow Bottom resident, could have an allotment?”

It’s an interesting dilemma. The Allotments Act of 1908, subsequently much modified and interpreted, implies that a local council must respond to a written representation from a minimum of six council tax payers, to provide suitable allotment facilities. There’s a sting in the tail for the enquirer; apart from where on earth could a suitable piece of ground be found in Marlow Bottom, the Act stipulates ‘there is no time limit for provision once it has been established that there is a demand’. That’ll be an eternal waiting list then.

RESPONSE to something I’ve written is always rewarding. The MAF piece last week caught the eye of a reader who has been for many years an instructor with the ATC (Air Training Corps – Air Cadets).

He commented “By coincidence, we recently welcomed an ex-cadet who despite initially embarking on a career as a lawyer, became an MAF ‘Bush Pilot’”. The reader taught him the basics of flying (the principles of flight etc), and then he went on to receive an Air Cadet Flying Scholarship. After his career as a lawyer, he returned to his love of flying and became a MAF Bush Pilot in Kenya.

CATALYTIC converters and speeding are the consuming interest of local police at the moment.

If you own a car with a Cat converter, particularly a large one, the police warn you should do all you can to protect it from thieves. The price of metals has made exhaust units to be very desirable for the value of platinum they contain.

REMEMBER our Grade 1 Distinction cello novice, diverted from being a very accomplished oboist, all in the name of a charity challenge? Well, Jean Ashford and her husband Martin organise musical events at Christ Church URC, Oxford Road, Marlow.

The final one of this season tomorrow presents a cello and piano recital by Ian Burdge and Carlina Carr featuring sonatas by Beethoven, Brahms and Debussy.

Tickets are £7 and are available at the door.

The concert starts at 7.30pm.

BURFORD is buzzing with hectic preparations for their big 40th anniversary festivities on June 29.

Friends of Burford have been working on a variety of other events to attract funds for the scheme to extend the school hall. Apart from being an essential facility to accommodate all the pupils, the design has been planned to be a self-sufficient facility with its own entrance and toilet. That should become a great community asset as it will be available out of school hours as a venue for local groups. So it should become a cooperative enterprise between school and the population of the valley.

One future event that promises to be very attractive is An Evening with Sir Steve Redgrave, Andrew Strauss MBE and Naomi Riches on November 15 at the Compleat Angler, Marlow. Ticket details will be given in this column when they become available.