The slippery path of politics (From Bucks Free Press)

The slippery path of politics

10:43am Thursday 4th March 2010

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His gesticulating and rehearsed, coached body language had me in a fury. Because they were the very same movements as Tony Blair’s. These public speakers are trained to use body language to win public opinion.

Now body language is a fascinating arena. It allows us to ‘hear the unspoken’. So, at a very low level, when someone’s saying something and has their hands over their mouth or touches their nose, it apparently means they’re lying.

Thumbs up indicates power/authority, wide arms speaks of openness. These things occur naturally in us and are instinctive. What candidates are being taught to do is suppress their natural body language and adopt more ‘positive’ gestures which will speak to the electorate’s unconscious.

Now, if speakers are being honest and actually believe what they’re saying shouldn’t the right body language come naturally?

”Most people find Boris Johnson an affable, colourful chap and I feel a real affection for the way he conducts and presents himself.”

It speaks volumes that these prospective leaders need to be taught how to use specific body language which relays honesty, power, determination and so on. To me, it smacks of dishonesty from the start.

Most people find Boris Johnson an affable, colourful chap and I feel a real affection for the way he conducts and presents himself. It just feels genuine. He’s charmingly blunt and has been known to make faux pas, for which he apologises.

Gordon Brown too seems to have waived any body language tuition. Many think he presents himself badly but isn’t this in comparison with a group of people trained to deceive? We’re scathing about a man who can obviously think but who has little ‘glamour’.

Our turnout for elections is at an all-time low. I’m not proud of these falling number. We’ve slaughtered many abroad in the fight for fair elections. And a turnout of 60% of the total electorate (as in the UK in 2005) doesn’t seem that fair to me either. 30% of the electorate just didn’t vote. I’m beginning to lose interest and I’m not proud of that either.

When I see these oily, preened, suited chaps (largely), smarming and slithering, using their hands as they’ve rehearsed (rather than naturally), I can see why.

It doesn’t instil trust. Call me old-fashioned but leaders take on a kind of traditional paternal role: they need to set down solid values, be honest and plan the family’s (country’s) finances etc. etc; they do not need to be salesmen. At least I don’t want one leading the country.

What should I do with my vote? I once had a sociology teacher, Miss Miles, who was outraged at each election time. She’d do a mini-poll in her own neighbourhood going door-to-door asking what the adults in the household were going to vote.

Her voice raised, she’d say she knocked on countless homes and often when the wife answered, she’d shout up to her husband, “Tom, what are we voting this year?”

“What!” Miss Miles would yell at her class. “Women died to get us the vote and these women are still relying on their husbands to decide.” At that age, I was very militant; I’d read all the literature and made what I thought was an informed decision.

Part of me thinks I should vote because I can. Another part thinks, should I really vote for any party? None of them wholly represents my interests and the things I don’t agree with are too important to compromise on. Then again, women died for me to vote...

Then I watch them all and it just about makes my mind up. I watched Mr. B. through some of the Chilcot inquiry, employing an array of acquired hand techniques: the eyes glared (sincerity), he tried his delayed sentence beginnings (consideration), his hands did everything they could to persuade.

This will no doubt offend many pro-Tony readers but it made me think of any one of the many leaders who’ve been brought to book following wrongs committed in their name. Didn’t Clinton scratch his nose when answering a critical question?

So how are we supposed to decide? Who had the best presentation? Who fooled more voters? Who stuck most rigidly to their tutor’s instruction? Body language should speak for itself.

Will we one day be saying, “I’m not voting for him, he obviously hasn’t combed his hair this morning”? Or, “I’ve always voted for that party but not if s/he’s not wearing this season’s clothes. Or the speaker stammered or hesitated or just wasn’t polished enough.

“For my part, if they’ve had to be taught how to give the appearance of all this by (what looks like) the same tutor, they’ve wasted their (my?) money. ”

Of course our leaders have to represent Britain and liaise with other leaders; they’ve always had to. But do we really mind about Nicolas Sarkozy’s intimate life? Or the way he looks? I don’t. So do others mind about how well-rehearsed or primped our leader is? I would hope they’d all have more pressing items on their agenda.

The Electoral Commission talks of changing the way voters are registered; it might also be time to overhaul the way candidates are selected. And then the system of seducing, persuading, cajoling

Well, let these smooth operators gesticulate with energy. Clenched hands, thumbs up, open palms, hands on hearts (bleurgh!); let them present honesty, morals, beliefs, determination, morals and all the rest.

For my part, if they’ve had to be taught how to give the appearance of all this by (what looks like) the same tutor, they’ve wasted their (my?) money.

I’m never persuaded by well-groomed window salesmen at the door or cable TV providers in shopping centres and I won’t be won over by the same calibre of chaps with bigger budgets and the power to revolutionise mine and my family’s life within six months.

I’ll have to use some other ploy to help me decide. Radio. Reading. Gut-feeling. Watching is clearly of no help at all. “Mine eyes do deceive me...”