Bad dreams (From Bucks Free Press)
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The perfect wife and mother, Rebecca runs a home, a village magazine and is working on her novel. She does not visit the gym or jog but is in amazingly good shape. She enjoys photography, playing the piano and arguing with the TV. She lives in Amersham with her husband and youngest child (aged nine). Her eldest, now 26, lives and works in Buckinghamshire.
Bad dreams
6:17pm Friday 3rd June 2011
God, last night I dreamt I was kissing the Queen.
Well, she tried to kiss me.
She was complaining of the noise in her house when trying to get to sleep.
“With all that room, I’m surprised” I said.
“Yes, it is surprising.”
But then she leaned over to me and… bleurgh… it wasn’t a peck on the cheek she was after.
There was … contact.
Does this mean I’m gay? Does it mean she’s gay?
She certainly fancied me in my dream. And I loathed the thought of having HRH’s tongue anywhere near my face. Partly because I think she might kiss her dogs on the mouth. (Snout?) I woke up disgusted with myself and gargled with mouthwash long and loud. (Has anyone else noticed how much like bathroom cleaner the cheap ones smell?) I’ve had the usual incomprehensible jumble of night thoughts. Flying, falling, dying, having a baby…I’m able to interpret these quite well now. (Freedom, insecurity, loss of some kind, new ventures/change respectively).
But the most bizarre are the ‘romantic’ dreams.
My intimate nocturnal encounters include Michael Palin and a Radio 4 reporter I’ve never seen. The worst was with Alan Titchmarsh. I’d never thought of him like that before. And now I can’t think of him any other way.
And now Elizabeth II.
I’ve dreamt I’ve expertly ridden a horse, been pursued by the Minotaur and been a belting singer in a stage play; these are OK, I’d like to do them.
I can understand all those. They’re exciting or purely escapist.when my life’s been a bit dull But what purpose does intimacy play in dreams? And no, it’s not the obvious to anyone who’s going to comment in that way, I’m expertly and regularly ‘serviced’ thanks. Every 10,000 miles/12 months whichever comes first.
I haven’t watched a gardening program since and now I probably won’t be able to face Her at Her Diamond Jubilee next year.
Well I suppose one comfort is that having been a love interest for the Queen once, like lightning, it won’t strike again.
There can’t be many individuals less appealing. Can there?
I had to share this with you. I hope I’m not alone.
Now do please continue to enjoy the one about the EU food labelling initiative...
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Comments(2)
NicM
says...
8:34am Sat 4 Jun 11
The strangest one is where I dreamt I gave birth during the night, was going to pop into Tesco to get some bits and pieces and then take it to work and put it under my desk cos I had some important stuff to do! It was scarily realistic......
The vast majority of the time I have no recollection of what I have dreamt - I don't know what that means either!
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The perfect wife and mother, Rebecca runs a home, a bad temper and is working on her novel. She enjoys photography, playing the piano and likes almost anything that's out of fashion and uncool. She lives in Amersham with her husband and youngest child (aged ten). Her eldest, now 27, lives and works in Buckinghamshire.
KentP says...
6:50pm Fri 3 Jun 11
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in fact, its not even her fault she's the queen!
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I like weird dreams, few of mine (at least the ones I remember) make any real sense - and I seem to die in my dreams (usually in fairly grisly ways) far too frequently
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never kissed the queen though... one day maybe!