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The perfect wife and mother, Rebecca runs a home, a village magazine and is working on her novel. She does not visit the gym or jog but is in amazingly good shape. She enjoys photography, playing the piano and arguing with the TV. She lives in Amersham with her husband and youngest child (aged nine). Her eldest, now 26, lives and works in Buckinghamshire.

Dual Identity

By Bucks Bites »

There’s a conflict between what technology offers us and what we say we want in society.

On the one hand there’s Facebook. Online. All the time. Allowing us to diarise our humdrum lives to other humdrum users.

With this comes online friends. Remote, unknown anonymous, perhaps not even real.

You talk to someone and they’re talking to someone else on their mobile at the same time or texting or reading something. We’re completely mixed up.

Then we have our solitude. Lonely, depressed individuals unable with little real contact with others.

Then there’s Cameron’s Big Society.

Our little gadgets allow us on the one hand to be connected with the WHOLE WORLD. And on the other hand, they make us solitary.

Do we want to be left alone or included? God only knows.

We like the idea of being in a community but can’t be bothered to invest in it. We like our gadgets but they don’t bring us any fulfilment. They don’t enrich us. Does all this mean we need two identities? And does technology provide us with that?

I live among neighbours. They know my name and roughly what I’m about. Same with me. But then I have an online identity. A different name, another profile usually (for privacy reasons) and much more outspoken. Aren’t we all the same?

Maybe Man has always needed that? Did Caveman go out hunting and then plaster his home walls with graffiti (paintings) when his family were out?

Early Man’s technology seemed to be based on a need to improve his life. I suppose we say the same about our fancy tools. They make life easier. Pah!

Did he too have a public identity and a private one? I don’t think so.

I think that the earth’s exploding population, the invasion in our lives of spying technology, our feelings of being increasingly insignificant make us want to be more than one person. The real one – the one that sits in front of the box and eats tortilla chips – and the virtual one which is a bit more shiny, has a more interesting life (4,000 Facebook friends – yay!) and has the possibility of being seen by the world.

I’m not on Facebook. Why? So friends I can’t be bothered to call or email can witness my busy life? Because that’s the only way people exist these days? Not a chance of me joining.

Public and private. We seem to still need the influence of other real people but maybe prefer to have things entirely our own way – contact when we want, opinions freely given and under a pseudonym, confirmation that we are here.

Maybe we’ve been working up to this all the time – a way of having people around but not really having much to do with them. From wheel to Twitter, it’s all so we can choose when to opt in and out of society.

For that reason I’m sceptical about the Big Society. That’s actually the problem. It’s already too bit – it covers the globe. We need different personas to cope. We need to make our societies smaller and then we’ll feel significant.

Maybe then texting while talking and Facebook and all the thousands of ways we can contribute to the media will diminish. Just a thought.

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Comments(8)

demoness the second says...
8:15am Sat 19 Nov 11

Hi Rebecca. I think you make some good points. Yes my name is not really Demoness but it is the name I use on here. Now there is a lot of argument for the use of real names because if you can't use your real name to say something perhaps you should not be saying it? Good point, but sometimes when you are expressing what could be a controversial opinion it may be the wise thing not to have your real name on display.
I do have FB because I have friends and family all over the place and it is a good way to keep in touch -sharing photos etc. No different than having a pen friend really.
But I am convinced that if one does want to go on forums and express views and opinions, then one should have the shroud of anonymity. The people who you are debating/arguing/exc
hanging insults with, may not want to take it further, but you never know who may be reading it.:)

ImpeturbableLawrence says...
12:07pm Sat 19 Nov 11

My life is not humdrum - only this morning I cleaned my teeth using DENTAL FLOSS!

ImpeturbableLawrence says...
12:10pm Sat 19 Nov 11

I sometimes post under my real name, particularly if I am going to say something rude in reply to someone, but I have made sensible comments in the past under my real name, and been attacked personally by people using pseudonyms.

Rebecca Leon says...
5:05pm Wed 23 Nov 11

ImpeturbableLawrence
: I take it all back. People aren't humdrum. They are exciting, adventurous continually finding themselves in challenging situations (as you opint out).
:
It's as I always suspected - must just be me then.
:
I don't know really. Here I use my real name and express real thoughts that have inhabited my own head.
:
But I'm encouraged to create a false identity wherever I go: I'm asked to create a 'user name'. So I do.
:
And with that false anonymity, comes freedom to be another person possibly. Bold, rude, decided about what's right and wrong... Hmmm...

Rebecca Leon says...
5:06pm Wed 23 Nov 11

ImpeturbableLawrence
: I take it all back. People aren't humdrum. They are exciting, adventurous continually finding themselves in challenging situations (as you opint out).
:
It's as I always suspected - must just be me then.
:
I don't know really. Here I use my real name and express real thoughts that have inhabited my own head.
:
But I'm encouraged to create a false identity wherever I go: I'm asked to create a 'user name'. So I do.
:
And with that false anonymity, comes freedom to be another person possibly. Bold, rude, decided about what's right and wrong... Hmmm...

Rebecca Leon says...
5:07pm Wed 23 Nov 11

The BFP site needs a health check. I submit a comment, get directed to an 'internal error' page and then my comment appears twice...

wisegirl says...
12:26pm Tue 29 Nov 11

I am on facebook because like so many others I was told that it was 'good for business' (this rumour was probably started by facebook). It's awful, as it's not private and I hate it, members of my family abroad write on my wall and I plead with them to email me privately. I've got hundreds of friends who I don't know because they are just using my page to promote something they're doing. I don't want to text someone if I can call them and i'd rather see them than call. I think you are correct in saying it makes us feel significant and connected in a fake way. When I go on the train I sometimes count the amount of people with a phone stuck to their ear, apart from the risk of brain tumours (yes radiation), it' reminds me of a fake umbilical chord ...'yes I am connected to something.'

Edna_Welthorpe_ says...
3:17pm Fri 2 Dec 11

....you could say it's a 'duel identity'...!


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The perfect wife and mother, Rebecca runs a home, a bad temper and is working on her novel. She enjoys photography, playing the piano and likes almost anything that's out of fashion and uncool. She lives in Amersham with her husband and youngest child (aged ten). Her eldest, now 27, lives and works in Buckinghamshire.

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