11:24am Friday 18th June 2010
READERS have a fantastic way of keeping columnists such as myself grounded and humble.
Just when we begin to get ideas above our station, you bring us down to earth with a resounding bump.
Take last week, for instance, when I received two glowing emails from people saying what a jolly good piece I had written on the local government system.
John Stirling said: “Congratulations on your points about the ridiculous proliferation of councils.” And he added: “Well done to start the debate!”
This was quickly followed by another fan telling me: “I usually read your column and, whilst I sometimes disagree, I wanted to write and tell you how much I enjoyed this week’s observations about our prehistoric system of local government.”
So there I was congratulating myself and feeling quite proud when it all came crashing down with an email from Chris Pattison who, quite properly, told me that I had misspelt gaff as gaffe.
Now gaff, as you know, is a slang term for your home (which I was referring to), while gaffe is a clumsy error.
“I think your gaffe is a gaffe and should be a gaff!” Chris told me, making me feel a right wally.
I make no excuses for this. It’s another example that the modern-day computer spell-check is a perilous safety net. It lures journalists and writers into a false sense of security and makes them think they no longer have to worry about using dictionaries.
However, the spell-check is probably responsible for more mistakes than it cures.
I can’t count the times I see ‘it’s and its’ used the wrong way round, mainly because people don’t see a need to check their spellings any longer.
But it gets worse. Lazy writers, or people in a hurry, often make the fatal error of carrying on clicking their mouse when the spell check is in operation.
They then don’t notice that they are agreeing to a spell check suggestion over a word change.
For instance, the spell check may not recognise the Hurst in the name of World Cup winner Geoff. So if you are not paying attention, you could carry on clicking and alter the name of England’s legendary hat-trick hero to Geoff Hurt.
And, as it’s the last check you often make before sending the paper to press, this may even end up in print.
This, believe it or not, has happened on several occasions to several newspapers. Many years ago, it even happened to the South Bucks Star in a film review column.
Sean Connery became Sea Cannery and Richard Gere was transformed into Orchard Here. The piece actually ended up being published, causing no end of bafflement among our readers.
This was not directly my fault, but I have to own up to an even more serious spell-check gaffe that was all my own making many years ago.
It was right on press deadline and I spell-checked a political story in a hurry while presumably multi-tasking and talking to a colleague.
I don’t quite recall what I altered Labour’s Tessa Jowell to but it was something which sounded deeply unpleasant, while more worryingly, I also changed the name of Beaconsfield’s MP.
Dominic Grieve (who by the way is a very nice man and the Attorney General now to boot) accidentally became Demonic Grieve on the page which was about to be sent to press.
It was a calamitous mistake, because I’m sure even die-hard Labour opponents would admit that Dominic is as far from being demonic as one could get.
Happily, I realised the error in time and pulled the page back before Mr Grieve had a Grievance with me – and before any clever readers had the chance to point out that Stove Coven had made another gaff.
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