Putting spice into your career

11:40am Tuesday 2nd September 2008

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IN CASE it escaped your notice, I point out that we have just passed through that annual teenage trauma fortnight known as Exam Results.

There were cheers and tears as envelopes were torn open and aspirations subsequently soared or burned and crashed. For the A Level brigade a bright new future awaits most of them – judging by the high level of pass rates – at universities up and down our land.

Many of these youngsters will be heading off wide-eyed into this world of higher academia and some will even be taking degrees that bare some resemblance to their chosen career path.

So the story of Emma Chapman which crossed my News Junky Radar last week seems both fitting and interesting.

She spent four years taking a degree in natural sciences at Christ’s College, Cambridge, going on to do a further four years of scientific research there before finally landing a plum job with a leading pharmaceutical research company.

All those years of hard educational slog through school and university had finally delivered just rewards at her feet.

Then the ‘but’ word hit the fan and Emma found she had become bored of it all so at the grand old age of 28 she turned her back on the whole kit and caboodle to take up a new career. She decided to become a professional belly dancing teacher – Egyptian style of course.

“Belly dancing gives me freedom to be who I want to be,” she said. “I can’t imagine going back to a nine-to-five job.”

So I’ve decided to do a bit of research myself – though not, I hasten to add at Cambridge or even Oxford.

As a consequence I can now bring you Paul Mortimer’s Guide to Interesting Career Choices for those of you with a zillion A Levels, but who aren’t quite sure what to do with them. This brief list may, of course, interest those with exciting jobs such as accountants, solicitors, planning officers and sales executives who want to switch to something a little more mundane.

Chicken sexer: A tricky job as the sexual organs are located inside the hatchling’s body, though apparently the feathers can give a clue in some cases.

Odour Judge: Spend your time sniffing armpits to make sure the manufacturer’s deodorant lasts all day. Unions may kick up a stink over wages.

Boner: Aha – you thought this was about filleting. It is actually inserting stiffeners into lady’s support garments – but not while they’re wearing them.

Weed Farmer: You actually grow weeds for chemical companies to use in herbicide research. I may never mow my lawns again.

Forest Fire Lookout: Limited opportunities if you want to live in London.

Dog Psychologist: Trained to analyse the behaviour of troublesome canines. ‘So tell me Fido, how do you feel after that nasty postman stuck his hand in your mouth ….’ Fish Vaccinator: People wanted to inject salmon off the west coast of Scotland. They’re paying 54p a fish – but you’ll probably never want to eat tagliatelle al salmone again.