CELEBRITIES, like mice, seem to be breeding at a much faster rate than the rest of the nation.
There are so many 'celebs' around right now that you are virtually tripping over them in the High Street.
Soap stars, soccer stars, music stars, movie stars, daytime TV stars, reality TV stars, the list is endless.
Then there are the socialite 'celebs' who never actually do much apart from give sickly interviews to fawning showbiz writers while sipping champagne at a party.
It's getting out of hand.
What's the point of them ?
Shouldn't we start rounding them up and turning them into useful, everyday household items ?
By all means, the most vapid - anyone from Big Brother - could still pout and pose for all they are worth but might also fill the more honest role of a hat stand while doing it.
Those wearing the most bling - I'm thinking rap 'artistes' - could become roadside decorations, brightening up roundabouts and the like, especially at Christmas.
Others - maybe TV soap actors - could help sort residents' rubbish into the correct recycling bins, injecting a bit of telly glamour into the dire process.
Some, perhaps movie stars, could employ all their undoubted charm as companions for pets left at home while their owners go to work:
'Hey, Fido, did I tell you about that new picture I'm in ? Vastly superior to my previous work. I get to snog Angelina Jolie, and Brad Pitt plays my butler..er...sorry, would you like a biscuit ?'
Something's got to change.
I can't be the only one who feels exasperated.
Celebrities - what are they for exactly ?