TO be honest, there are a lot of irritating phrases that should be ruled offside, if you know what I mean.

Well, you probably don't know what I mean.

But sadly this is how most people talk nowadays.

Dreadful catchphrases abo-und, but, at the end of the day, they don't actually mean anything.

So I'd like you to join me in a campaign for everyone to turn over a new leaf and stamp them out of our daily lives.

We will have to think out of the box on how we're going to get to first base, but I believe we can hit the ground running and draw a line in the sand under this appalling use of language.

But seriously, something should be done about it.

I want Star readers to step forward and cast a vote for Buckinghamshire's most irritating expression.

My least favourite is the aforementioned "but seriously".

You hear this used all the time in speeches and it's arrogant.

It pre-supposes you think that what you've just said is funny.

I've heard many a wedding speech fall flat after the best man cracked a joke that no one laughed at and then continued, as per his script, by saying: "But seriously..."

I overcame this difficulty at my own wedding by asking the drummer in the band to bang "bom, bom" every time I told a gag.

Of course, I had to point at him first to show I'd just said something funny.

And I had to tell the guests they had to laugh whenever the drums sounded.

It worked.

Hit the ground running is also stomach-churning.

It's an expression you constantly hear.

But it's ludicrous. If I hit the ground while I was running, I'd probably break both my legs, fall over and hit my head.

So please do me a favour and don't use this any more, because children might be watching at home.

The other hugely irritating habit I've tried to stamp out for years is the use of the word "then" in sales transactions.

You buy some underwear in Woolies, for example, and the shop assistant says: "That will be £3.50, then."

I always wait for a moment to see if they are going to add something like: "That will be £3.50 then.

"But if you don't want the elastic we could knock it down to £2."

Use of this redundant word also pressuposes you've just had some kind of long debate.

Me: "Look, the underwear is priced at £5 but it's not really my colour.

"Could you knock something off?"

Shop assistant: "That will be £3.50, then."

If you think I've lost my marbles or gone bananas or am one sandwich short of a lunch-pack or......gosh, I was so over-burdened with cliches that I forgot what I was just about to say.

But seriously, if you think I've gone mad, then just listen out next time you go to the shops and count how many useless thens you hear.

I hope you'll join my campaign, then.

Send in your most irritating daily expression to scohen@london.newsquest.co.uk or to: Steve Cohen, The Star Loudwater Mill, Station Road, High Wycombe, Bucks, HP10 9TY.

They'll be a free used dictionary for the best entry.

I've had a couple of vague sponsorship offers so far for me to dye my hair in a silly colour, but none nowhere near the £500 I require to do the charity stunt. My grey locks look safe at the moment.

Contact me at the above address if you wish to make a pledge.