Don't kill these pigeons in my name

In fact, they disgust me.

I don’t like pigeons pooping on my head or my car any more than you do, but the council’s plan to ‘humanely’ trap and cull High Wycombe’s birds is morally wrong in my book.

It’s easy to dismiss those who speak up for the pigeons as well-meaning oddballs who prefer the company of animals to humans.

And, as usual, this council will lecture us that they know what’s best on balance – as they did when they closed our open air swimming pool.

But society is judged on how we treat the weaker members of our, and other, species.

I would like the councillors who endorsed this decision to go into every primary school in High Wycombe and explain to the little children how they are going to ‘humanely’ kill God’s creatures.

I haven’t asked myself the following question until now because I’ve been too squeamish, but does ‘humanely’ mean gassing, lethal injection, poisoning or quickly snapping their necks?

Yuk, what horrible images for a family newspaper. But then this is a family town and our councillors are going to do this in our name.

And for what? I am a regular visitor to the town centre and honestly can’t say I’ve ever seen much of a pigeon problem. Mrs Editor’s Chair once had one drop a bomb on her jacket, and I’ve had a few messy car windscreens, but does this really give us an excuse to execute them?

Naturally, I will be accused of hypocrisy because I eat meat and wear leather shoes. I make no excuses for being a carnivore and, believe me, this is something I have grappled with on my conscience for many years.

My vegetarian friends would hate me for saying this, but I can accept, rationalise and at least put up a proper argument for the killing of animals for food. I could also condone the killing of animals if they were a direct threat to me or my family.

But I do not currently accept pigeons fall into this category, despite the council’s talk this week of them presenting a health hazard through the accumulation of faeces.

There is no way I can support the slaughter, humanely or otherwise, of animals simply on convenience terms.

I read in the archives that our politicians previously felt it essential to move the birds out of town because they may undermine the ‘café culture’ councillors wish to drive. Council members also want to prevent fouling of town buildings.

So this is what our humane human society has come to – we need to obliterate creatures which prevent us having a coffee in peace and which make our public buildings look untidy.

I have no doubt councillors believe they are acting in everyone’s proper interests over this, but they are setting a disastrous example to our children. They are effectively condoning execution of a species that is an irritant.

I pay my taxes like most of you, so Wycombe councillors act in my name. I accept their right under the democratic system to take tough unpopular decisions – like closing swimming pools – even if I disagree with them over the issue.

But killing animals is a different proposition altogether. I expect our councillors to act on our behalf over public amenities, planning, roads and housing – not to play God with nature.

If there is an extreme public health risk from pigeons, then I’d perhaps back them. If they can prove that to me, I might change my mind.

But as things stand, there simply has to be a better way.

If this council was being truly humane, then it would look for any other solution apart from execution.

Mankind simply has a duty to the planet to take the proper moral high ground on this type of issue, or we stand rightly accused of bullying weaker species for our own selfish ends.

So call me a hypocrite all you like, but don’t dare to tell me that slaughtering helpless animals because they are a nuisance should be done by my council in my name.

For the sake of balance, and giving me a rest, if any councillor wants to write next week in support of the culling plan – and to explain in detail the public health issue – I will happily hand them over this entire column. Watch this space.