IT is a familiar lament, I know – but I truly feel very sorry for the teachers who have to deal with the effects of 21st Century parenting. I struggle to understand how parents, who themselves were brought up in families where boundaries were established early and more importantly adhered to, fail to offer their own children the same security. And security is what it is – not cruelty or harsh disciplinarianism.

Several times lately I have witnessed situations where a mother in a supermarket tells a child not to do something. In one case, it was a child that was idly squashing loaves of bread on the shelf. Having been told not to do it, the child, looking all the while at the mother, did it again; was told again. When it did it once again the mother... yes, you’ve guessed it… did absolutely nothing.

So, the lesson that is learned is that the child needn’t pay any attention to its mother, because no sanctions follow failure to do what she says. In fact, it would be far better if the mother had said nothing in the first place and just allowed the child to do what it liked without comment. At least, it hasn’t learned that its mother has no authority, in addition to being a nuisance.

And we’ve all seen how one parent can undermine the authority of another, when the first has rightly insisted that a child stops doing something wrong and followed it through (hurrah!). The child then runs crying to the other parent and gets immediately consoled, conveying to the literal mind of a child that it has done nothing wrong itself but the other parent is the naughty one for being cross with the little sobbing angel.

Then, after years of being indulged and treated like a minor deity that must be placated at all cost, the wilful, undisciplined infant is suddenly deposited into the charge of a teacher who has to spend precious time, that could be spent educating the 30 odd children in their charge, inculcating into half the class the unfamiliar concept of doing what they’re told and showing consideration for others before maths or literacy have a look in.

Why has loving discipline and consistency in dealing with young children disappeared in one generation? Whatever the reason we are reaping the effects on a daily basis. Just read the newspapers.