KAYE Townsend is a qualified, BACP registered, person-centred counsellor with a private practice in Flackwell Heath, Bucks. She is currently writing a self-help book, write articles for various publications & work as a volunteer counsellor for a local charity.

Here she answers letters in her Bucks Free Press agony aunt column.

Dear Kaye, I met a man 6 months ago & he seemed a confident, strong character which I found very attractive. 2 months ago I was made redundant & he helped me secure a job where he works as a salesman. I am reminded of what a great favour he did for me constantly. He also suggested I move in with him which I did although I must admit I felt a little pressured. I haven’t sold or rented out my flat as yet as I don’t feel ready but he keeps bringing this up. Since then so many things have changed.

I can no longer meet with friends unless he comes along, we work in different departments but he can see me from his desk so when I speak to male colleagues he always manages to appear & join the conversation until the male colleague has walked away.

He suggested that instead of using the cafe for lunch, that I take my own lunch to save money & then started making my lunch for me in the mornings. I couldn’t argue that the cost of the cafe was a luxury but this now means I sit alone at my desk at lunch time unless he joins me. He seems so possessive, controlling & jealous.

We car share to save fuel costs but this means we are together 24/7 & I am feeling trapped. He questions me when I receive a call or text & has strongly suggested that I close my FB account & we use his jointly.

I feel smothered, I just want to go back to my old life.

Jackie, Princess Risborough.

Dear Jackie, You mention that you still have your old flat. I feel that perhaps moving back there would be a relief for you & give you back some freedom. He does appear to be controlling your every move by strongly suggesting that you change so many areas of your life. I think you need space to decide if this is really a healthy relationship for you.

By doing this you are taking a step back & will be able to look at the situation with a clearer mind.

Also remember, he may have introduced you to your new employer but you impressed the interviewer with your experience, qualities & personality, so you got the job!

Take care, Kaye.