AS ONE MP after another kept throwing their arms wide and proclaimed their innocence under the rules while failing to see their moral bankruptcy, an interesting appeal emerged from the wreckage.

A certain Mr David Cameron said last week it was now time for budding MPs to jump on the bandwagon. Yes, you too my friend can climb aboard and enjoy the exciting world of Parliament – all expenses paid.

In truth of course, the expenses will be a little less once the clean-up operation is finished. The sun is going down on extravagant allowances so there will be less hay to make.

Even so, it’s not a bad old life. I read last week that only about three per cent of our country’s workforce earn more than the current £65k taken home by the honourable – and now several less so – Members of Parliament.

Anyway this Mr Cameron has pointed out that there will be a few vacancies come the revolution – er, next General Election. Actually about 300 by all accounts.

So I’m thinking of chucking my hat in the ring. After all they get more holidays than teachers for a kick off – what could be a bigger incentive than that.

No doubt when all this financial dust has settled and the wheeling and dealing completed, our MPs are not going to be out of pocket – well except the avaricious few who will no longer be around anyway.

You can be sure therefore that while the trough has been emptied the take-home pay is going to be comfortably more than £65k. You can also take an afternoon nap in cosy green leather chairs in a big Westminster room and when business is being conducted you call rivals ‘my honourable friend’ and then slander them with impunity.

All these perks and cash are just too good to resist. I’m sure there’s something about political principles and serving the country that comes into it somewhere, but that’s all in the small print.

The question now, of course, is do I hook my trailer up to one of the key parties – that’ll be red, blue or a yellowish sort of orange group – or tread my own path as the Monster Raving Loony Party has been doing without too much success but with lots of fun for decades?

It’s all down to the manifesto of course. So if any party can meet some of my key goals then I’ll sign on the dotted line. They include: l Motorists who persistently drive in the middle lane on motorways will have their cars confiscated and given tricycles.

l Everyone shall have a six-week summer holiday.

l We will embrace the EU practice of siestas (indeed Granada has just passed a by-law forbidding music, dancing and door slamming during the siesta period between 3pm and 5pm).

l Any MP caught with his hands in the till will end up wearing it.

l Kick start the British motoring industry and bring back such iconic classics as the Austin Allegro and Morris Marina.

l Free sets of teeth for all those who lost their own because they couldn’t find an NHS dentist.

Of course I would also have to delve into local issues. For instance I would pledge to reopen or keep closed Holywell Mead pool, depending on how many votes that would get me. My principles come at a price you know.

Now the only thing left to decide is which flat to buy in London, who to let it out too while claiming for it and whether or not to construct a moat around my palatial Hazlemere home.

Or maybe I’ll skip Mr Cameron’s offer altogether. After all being an MP is not very high on the list of favourite people just now.