I’M sorry to report that the first citizen of High Wycombe is slightly miffed with this column and… wants to put me in the stocks as a punishment.

Mayor Jane White didn’t like the jokey mock-up picture the other week of her and her idol Sean Connery.

I’d arranged for a picture of the ex-James Bond to be superimposed with Jane at the side of her car, after she had previously admitted in a motoring feature that he would be her ideal passenger.

I thought Jane would love it, but it sadly turned into a bit of a night-mayor for me, because she told my reporter Andy Carswell, during a mayoral engagement, that her licence to thrill would be putting Steve Cohen in the stocks and throwing sponges at him.

Young Carswell sorrowfully and dutifully reported the conversation back to me the following day, so I called Cllr White up and asked what was wrong.

It turns out she didn’t like the image I’d used of Sean Connery because she likes him as an older man, and not the sprightly and dashing youthful Bond figure.

To make up for this crime, I have now agreed to be shaken and stirred at a forthcoming event in Totteridge when Jane will lead a crew of Cohen-haters in the sponge throwing.

Anyone who wants to chuck one at me will have to cough up for charity in aid of her Mayor’s Appeal, the Pepper Foundation.