I HAVE bad news for mayor Jane White, pictured inset, who has arranged to put me in the stocks at a fun day this month.

I have looked in my diary Jane for August 30, the day of the event in Totteridge, and I’ve found I have a prior engagement.

Yes, it turns out I am washing my hair that day.

And to those who ask why I need to spend a whole day just on this one piece of personal hygiene, I will reply: Have you actually seen the state of my hair?

It is rather unruly and unique, and as August 30 is a Bank Holiday Monday, it is one of the rare opportunities I will have to stay at home and sort it out.

So sorry, Jane, can’t go to your event and have sponges thrown at my face by malicious members of the public. I really would love to, but the 1970s grey perm has to come first.

Jane – who is High Wycombe’s first citizen – put me down for being sponged at the Totteridge Community Fun Day after being displeased about something I wrote in this column.

So in the true spirit of Backchat and charity, I have come up with a compromise.

I will donate £10 out of my own pocket money to the Mayor’s Appeal for Cllr Jane White to have a special session in the stocks that day, and have sponges thrown at her by a designated member of my staff – an act which we will video and keep for posterity.

And better still, if any reader wants to up this amount to say £15, we’ll let them be the designated sponge thrower for this historic occasion which will appear on our website.

• Email in your bids to throw sponges at the mayor to scohen@london.

newsquest.co.uk • PS: memo to staff – if the mayor rings to speak to me after this column is published, tell her I’m in a management meeting.