CAN you tell me the freakiest place you’ve ever seen a mobile phone being used?

Because I wonder if anyone can beat my experiences of hearing calls being made from the seat of a public toilet.

It’s happened twice to me. I went to powder my nose in a convenience last week and heard a long and convoluted conversation going on in one of the cubicles.

At first, I wondered if there were two people inside. Then I feared someone might be talking to himself. Finally, I realised the chap was indeed engaged in a mobile telephone exchange.

Possibly, it was the only place he could find to make a private call, or perhaps the phone had rung while he was in there. Who knows? But it does rankle a bit that you can’t even spend a penny these days without being subjected to loud, tortuous conversations about other people’s private business.

A couple of years ago, I went to the lavatory in the House of Commons and heard the guy in the next cubicle answering the phone.

“Yes, I am in the Commons now,” he told the caller in a posh voice.

Little did the person on the other end realise just what kind of seat in the House this fellow was occupying at the time.

As a result, every time I call someone on their mobile now, I half expect them to be on the loo – so forgive me if I laugh out loud when I’m talking to you on the phone.

This is, of course, not half as bad as the idiots who persist in still using their phone at the wheel of their cars while they negotiate difficult right hand turns. It’s like the law and common-sense has just passed these morons by.

I see it day after day in High Wycombe and it terrifies me.

I am also perturbed at the sight of almost every member of the public walking down the street clutching a phone to their ear. I do it myself and it’s an appalling habit.

I once saw two men in a pub sitting next to each other. Both were on the phone having a chat with other people, even though they had clearly gone out to have a drink with each other.

It’s as if the art of normal conversation has died. A mobile is now a permanent accessory for everyone’s ear and there’s no chance you can talk normally. Even if you are having a confidential chat face-to-face, you half expect it to be overheard by someone else on the other end of a phone that’s been left on.

How did people cope in the old days before these gadgets existed? It must have been so hard having to just talk to one another without the aid of an electronic device.

Where’s the most bizarre place you’ve seen as mobile phone used? Email me at scohen@london.newsquest.co.uk Please don’t call because I might be spending a penny when you ring.