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Most read Comments 1 TV wildlife presenter in climbing accident 2 Wycombe laces up its trainers for annual race 3 Options announced for Beaconsfield's last major redevelopment 4 Police wear crime cameras 5 Hughenden seeks countryside recruits 6 Woman runs marathon out of sympathy 7 Man assaulted outside Wycombe Railway Station 8 Body discovered in Penn 9 Firefighters called to suspected fuel leak 10 Home-grown author appears at Waterstone's Today | 7 Days 1 Schools chief's fury over SATS "disgrace" 2 Workers picket council offices 3 Boy racers could have cars seized 4 Woman, 21, punched after car collision 5 Banger off on 10,000 mile journey 6 Expenses revealed for south Bucks MPs 7 Staff walk out at two councils 8 Police death probe: findings 'next week' 9 Hunt for bright orange raid car 10 Police wear crime cameras

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WELL, I went away on my Christmas holidays and quite forgot that I'd launched a topical song contest for readers.

I offered a prize of the cheapest bottle of fizzy plonk I could find to the reader with the best ditty.

And then it all slipped my mind. Luckily readers Paul Raybould, Mary Mullett and Clive Whitelock have better powers of recall than me.

Paul, from Totteridge, submitted the song Green Bin' which is sung to the tune of Shakin Stevens' 1981 hit Green Door': There's an old potato, and a squashed tomato, in my green bin, With some cold meat pies, and a million flies, inside my green bin, But after two hot weeks, you know the rats will sneak, behind my green bin.

There's a sirloin steak, well past its sell by date, inside my green bin, Leftover Irish stew, and a vindaloo, inside my green bin, Up and down the street, the vermin have a treat, behind the green bin.

I committed a crime, put non-organic slime, inside my green bin, I made a tragic mistake, the dustman wouldn't take, away my green bin, (For a) month I heard the clatter, of the rats getting fatter, in my green bin.

Clive, of Alexandra Road, High Wycombe, talks about parking, presumably in his hometown. His song is below and is entitled: Wouldn't Park. It is sung to the tune of Wooden Heart': "Have you paid And displayed, Stuck a ticket on your screen, So it will be seen, If you've not then I wouldn't park.

There are those I propose, Who maintain they'll stay scot free, if they shun the fee, But not me, I just wouldn't park.

There's no strings attached to parking here, You cough-up else you're fed to the sharks.

Men in suits, in cahoots With the flatfeet on patrol, They're all in control, This is why I just wouldn't park."

Meanwhile, Mary Mullett, of Gibson Road, High Wycombe, has entered Gonna Make You a Star'. Mary apologises to David Essex by belting out the following version: "Oh is it more, too much more Than a Wycombe Star?

I don't think so!

Yet you run the best stories by far, Not a disgrace!

It's never been out of style Not even for a short while And I don't care how cold it is, I'm coming home soon, sing it!

I'm going to read The Star yeah!

Well I said I like to read news about music.

Yes I believe it.

We all love to understand the news media!

Well it's really super hip, Liable to take some stick.

Well look how happy we are.

We're gonna to read The Star ar ar ar, We're gonna to read the Star ar ar ar, We're gonna read The Star."

If you can do better, write to me at The Star, Loudwater Mill, Station Road, High Wycombe, HP10 9TY. Or email me at scohen@london.newsquest.co.uk

3:50pm Thursday 10th January 2008

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