Once you mention to someone your child is a teen (and let’s not forget the teen phase spans seven years) a knowing look of fake dread covers their face.

They feel pity; they acknowledge you’re probably arguing most the time (about gadgets, going out, make up and boys if you have a daughter; gadgets, going out, drink and cars if you have a son). Well, yes occasionally.

Can you imagine people responding similarly if you talked about your aged parents? ‘Oh, not one of those stick-waving, denture-wearing, soup eating, slipper-wearing old fools?’ (No, an ex-consultant and former sailing champion actually.) Have I made my point?

I have a teenager in the house now. One day she was twelve, the next thirteen. Do people forget that?

People who’ve never lived with a teenager seem to be the worst. They want to sympathise and look like they know your life when they couldn’t begin to imagine the diversity of the conversations that take place. From friend trouble to ‘What’s your favourite thing in the world?’

Must we group all young people in this age bracket together? Are they really all the same?

Yes, some of the issues that today’s teens face are shared: identity, independence, study, belonging…

But our teens are people with their own identities and the way each approaches these years is as individual as the person.

The eye-rolling, knowing look I get is a sort of mocking ridiculing of the teen years and what my teenager and her family is struggling with daily.

Negotiating, I have to consider why I’ve come to the decision I have. The top barrister-type questioning I’ll be subjected to needs a proper defence.

Comforting, mothering, thinking, working things out together… this is a growing phase for us both.

Yes, we argue. Yes, we disagree about lots and yes I try and remain the mother I’ve always been and not become the screaming, unreasonable enemy of my growing girl.

It feels like a fragile phase and I resent the almost fun-making attitude of the wider world. This must be the hardest phase yet of raising a child. Although I know there’s more worry to come.

Our teens are not one unified group of trouble. They are also fascinating, challenging, thinking beings who are capable of great good, compassion and good morality. If we don’t ruin them while they're teens…