I realise that with the cancer statistics as they are that it would have been impossible to have reached forty years of age and to have never known anybody with cancer. Indeed, I have known various friends who have had it and lost their battles, and other friends have had close family members with it. But nothing prepared me for the day that it would strike our family. It was literally like a fireball had hit us from the sky. I feel like I owe an apology to every person who ever told me that they were being affected by cancer. I mean, I offered sympathetic tones but I really had little comprehension of the level of their suffering. Sadly, I now know and there is no way of denying  that it is absolutely horrendous.

It was not me that was given the diagnosis: my beautiful Mother has cancer and was diagnosed in the first half of last year.  At the time of diagnosis the cancer was already very advanced, despite my Mum going to see her GP on many occasions detailing symptoms that all pointed to this particular type of cancer. Jobsworth…but I will save that for another day.

I love my Mother so much. She is my Mother and my best friend. We literally talk for hours every day. My Mum has always been there for me, she has always supported me, always held my hand when I have needed her to. It is now time for me to be there for her and to hold her hand, support her and try and make this time as bearable as anyone possibly can. I just feel so very frustrated that there is nothing that I, or anyone else, can do to make my lovely Mum better. Cancer is a cruel, cruel disease.

Poor Mum has spent hours in hospitals and has had endured countless painful procedures but she is so brave and she still manages to smile, still laughs. My Dad is amazing and although he must feel like a wreck inside he keeps plodding on and has morphed into an wonderful house-husband and carer.

Mum is managing not to visibly freak out and Dad is being equally brave. I also need to be strong: this is not the time to lament

I intend to treasure every moment of light that I can find in this darkness.